The first in a new webseries, we examine the cool trinkets that have passed through the Cyclist office.
1 Spiuk Trophy glasses
£39.99, silverfish-uk.com
Eyelids move at 0.118kmh, meaning that if you rode this year’s Tour in a ‘blink of an eye’ it would have taken you over 3.25 years to complete. If you can’t go fast, look shiny, and Spiuk’s Trophy glasses are the perfect place to start.
2 Exposure Link light
£64.95, ultimatesportsengineering.com
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is heavy, the other’s a little lighter. And even lighter still is the 44g helmet-mountable Link from Exposure, which puts out 100 lumens from the front and 35 from the rear. Perfect for moles, miners and commuters.
3 Birzman Velocity Apogee pump
£29.99, i-ride.co.uk
At the deepest point of the Earth’s surface the water pressure of the oceans reaches 15,846psi, or the exact same pressure Chuck Norris runs in his track tubs. While the Apogee mini pump won’t quite achieve said levels, it will capably inflate tyres to 120psi.
4 Muc-Off Fabric Protect
£10, muc-off.com
If you don’t have an umbrella but want to recreate the experience of umbrella-ownership, simply douse yourself liberally in Muc-Off’s water repellent fabric spray, go outside in the rain, watch the water run off your clothes, then occasionally poke people in the eye.
5 Paul Smith + Kask helmet
£220, paulsmith.co.uk
At a gradient of 90%, you won’t catch designer Paul Smith cycling up any rainbows, but you will find him busily applying his ‘Rainbow Gradient’ graphics to Kask’s new Protone helmets. The pot of gold will come in handy when paying for one.