From left to right....
1 Lizard Skins Micro Cache
£16.99, 2pure.co.uk
Forget Coppi’s aviators, Merckx’s coiffure and Wiggo’s sideburns, the true champion of style was Marco Pantani, who circa 1996 sported Team Carrera’s faux-denim bibshorts like a disco-pirate. It was a strong look, and one Lizard Skins is keen we don’t forget with its denim-eqsue Cache saddlebags.
2 Muscle Food Protein Sweets
from £1.19, musclefood.com
Adding protein to snack foods to make them ‘healthy’ is a bit of a trend at the moment, and the latest to join the party is Muscle Food, which has taken those twin pillars of Dickensian sweeties – the pear drop and the wine gum – and given them a low-sugar, high-protein makeover. How long before someone launches honey-glazed pork scratchings?
3 Specialites TA chainrings
from £59.99, chickencyclekit.co.uk
In 1947 Specialites TA filed its first patent for the ‘Traction Avant’, a bicycle whose cranks attached directly to the front wheel. Sadly for bunch sprints the concept never came to fruition, but Specialites kept the TA initials going and today makes a fine line of high-quality chainrings to suit any and every type of crank.
4 Velo Atelier Organic Chamois Crème
£20, veloatelier.co.uk
Bruce Springsteen’s vocal chords are reputedly insured for £4.5m, and Dolly Parton’s décolletage is upheld by a £450,000 endowment. But that’s nothing compared to Jennifer Lopez’s £20m derriere, which is why, we’re told, the lady from the
block only ever uses Velo Atelier’s butt-clenchingly expensive chamois cream whenever she’s out riding.
5 Topeak Ninja tools
£16.99 (pump)/£23.99 (multitool), extrauk.co.uk
The Cyclist office must be bugged. One day we’re discussing a cunning idea for hiding tools inside bike parts. The next day Topeak launches Ninja, including a pump that stashes inside your seatpost, and a chaintool that slots into handlebar ends. Next thing you know it will be making a dispenser that pops out jelly babies from your stem cap. We’ve said too much…